(no subject)

[payback]

I...







[There's a long pause here, where she fidgits with her hands and looks down at her knees, at her fingers and her fingernails, avoiding eye contact. This is painful to start even a few years removed from the original event - getting stronger every day, but still raw and oozing and wet under where it's scabbed over. Nothing's hurting right now, of course, but there are... these little flutters of sensation that could so easily become pain. Later. Soon. Once they start digging around.]

So. [She swallows.] How... exactly... did you want me to start?

Comments

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

[Zexion looks at her, calm, calculating. In sharp contrast to her, he doesn't fidget or move at all. He just watches.]

All good stories start at the beginning.

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Casting around for a focal point here, something to tide her over while she talks. Eventually she settled on the skin near one of her fingernails, where it's a little dry and cracked, and picks at it, not destructively yet but just a little absent movement. But if she goes all the way back first, it's not so bad. Not so personal yet.]

Okay. Well. That was actually... a long time before I was born. When my grandfather was a dojo student, in fact, just training... and not even knowing he would inherit the dojo yet. There was competition, in fact. It wasn't certain that he'd take the school over, because there were other students that could've taken the reins. So, everyone had to work towards that, if they wanted it. The chance to take command of the school.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

I take it this is a great honour in your culture?

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Nods a little.] It's power. It's the chance to push the way your school grows... you can be a real force, politically, really in demand, you can do a lot for your family. Or you can run the school into the ground. So it's important who gets chosen, both for the survival of the techniques and the philosophy and for all the people who get dragged along one way or another. So, some of them are really strict, you know? People watch each other and they're being watched, seeing if they'll be suitable heirs or not. So. My grandpa... his main... competition, I guess you would say? Was mostly one other student, named Anotsu. They were friends, but they were competing too, to see who would impress the old master more and get command of the school.

So - my school's stance is... or it was... really strict on form. Tradition. All that kind of stuff. So... my grandfather ended up being the one who got the school. Anotsu was thrown out.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

[mulls over this as he listens, putting it in context, comparing it to what he already knows.]

What did Anotsu do or fail to do that led to him being thrown out, instead of merely falling under your grandfather's rule?

[payback.livejournal.com]

[She'll try to slide by bits if she thinks she can. Not here, so much. But the ugliest parts, the most disgusting parts, the ones that gutted her before - they haven't arrived yet. But.

This part is easier. She speaks more easily.]

My grandfather, Anotsu, and the dojo leader were out one day when they were attacked by a group of bandits. Of course both my grandfather and Anotsu leaped to defend their master, killing their ambushers... Anotsu used two swords, and one of them was a foreign blade. ...He killed more people. My grandfather stuck to the rules our doctrine put out, even though he killed fewer men, so - that won him the seat after the old master vacated.

And I guess - I wouldn't know. But I heard later that... life after being disgraced like that... it was hard. No climbing back into the light. You get one chance, and... [shrug.]

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

[he watches her like a hawk, looking for information from how she's talking, her posture, her body language.]

Hm.

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Glances at him quickly, and then away again just as fast. It's not a comfortable feeling to be under such close scrutiny, especially when she already feels vulnerable. She licks her lips a bit.]

So. Right.

So, my grandfather got the school. Anotsu was thrown out, and I don't know what happened for a while. My grandfather had my dad, and I guess Anotsu had kids... I don't know what happened to his son. And my dad got married and had me, and Anotsu's kids had kids, or his kid had one kid, at least.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

And your relationship with Anotsu's grandchild?

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Blinks. Got it in one, most likely. Staring resolutely at her hands again.]

So, when... um... I was just - [Pause.] My grandfather died peacefully. It seemed like things were okay. But we started hearing about this upstart sword school gaining power, going around and taking over dojo, killing the leaders and taking the students who wuold go with them under their wing, and putting the rest to the sword. My father was really worried about it... this group was called the Itto-ryu.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

You're ignoring the question, but continue. I assume Anotsu is connected to the Itto-ryu.

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Winces very slightly, and then snaps a bit.] I'm not ignoring it, I'm giving you background information. And yeah he is, he's the head, in fact.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

[slightly raised eyebrow, but calm enough:] Then acknowledge the question before you continue, instead of getting worked up about it. Continue.

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Deep breath.] You're gonna find out about it anyway. So. [Shakes her head for a moment, trying to calm down, and changes her mind. Being mad might make it easier. She can just ride that momentum through.] So yeah, of course, we were the dojo that threw Anotsu Kagehisa's grandfather out in the first place. Naturally, they came after us.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to confirm what your body language was conveying.

[he relaxes in his seat a bit more, paying close attention.]

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Doesn't relax a bit. Just barrels determinedly onwards.] So Anotsu came in with a bunch of guys, and killed my dad and - [Brief catch, lying here, sort of, and then - adelante.] my mom. So I decided I'd kill them for that, only I couldn't really do it on my own, I spent a couple years wandering around looking for Itto-ryu but they were the best, it's not like I would have been able to do anything really. And then I found Manji and started making progress, and went to Kaga, and met Doa and Isaku, and things went crazy with the bakufu, which brings us to the last thing I remember.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

I get the distinct impression you're leaving things out. After all, years cannot be summed up as "I met some people and things were crazy."

What did he do to your mother?

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Rolls her eyes, very theatrically teenage for a moment, and folds her arms.]

He didn't do anything. Exactly.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

Who and what, then?

[payback.livejournal.com]

...He let his guys hurt her.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

My condolences.

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Glare.]

So I wandered around for a couple years after that. I'd decided I would kill all of them. Except then I realized I'd need help to do it, someone to back me up, and that was sort of how I ended up finding Manji.

[illusionist.livejournal.com]

One teenaged girl on a death mission, turning to whoever she can find to help. Why did Manji agree to follow along?

[payback.livejournal.com]

[Calming again. Relaxing the slightest bit. Ow it hurts.]

He said I looked like his little sister.

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